Johnlock Oneshots
by Sophlock
Summary: So I'm going to write a few johnlock one shots for Femke, so I'll post them on here to share too! Please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**So here's the first oneshot I wrote for Femke, I hope you enjoy it!**

**Vague description: Drunk!lock, hurt/comfort, fluff, kittens**

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John frowned as he watched Sherlock stumble down from the coffee table, mumbling to himself "Rubber ducks and ice cream..." John sighed in relief that the man hadn't fallen off as the detective sat next to him on the sofa, closer than a sober Sherlock would sit.

"You knooooooow, John, I like you" Sherlock smiled with half lidded eyes as he face planted onto John's shoulder, it smelt nice, of sand, aftershave and general 'John' smell.

"I like you too Sherlock" John sighed a little, he didn't just 'like' Sherlock, he loved him, but he would never say that, Sherlock had always been repulsed by any mention of love, let alone hearing it from his male flatmate.

"Oh that's good" The drunk detective smiled like a small child before his face fell again "I'm sorry I left you for two years..."

The sandy haired blogger shook his head a bit "It's ok Sherlock, I promise, it's in the past and it's over" He frowned a bit as he remembered those two years of hell "Just don't do it again, ok?"

"I won't, I won't!" Sherlock chirruped earnestly like a little kid "I didn't like being alone John it wasn't niiiice" He nuzzled his nose into John's shirt sleeve "Being with you is much nicer"

"Glad you think that Sherlock" John looked at the coffee table, Sherlock had only drank about 3 beers but he didn't drink much so he'd got drunk easily.

The tall man was silent for quite a while, John began to think he'd fallen asleep and was about to gently lift him up and carry him to bed when Sherlock mumbled "How is Marah?"

John frowned, he was a bit annoyed that the flatmate wasn't asleep actually "Marah? Are you asking about Mary or Sarah?"

"I don't caaaaaare" Sherlock whined into John's shirt sleeve "How are they?"

The sandy haired man shrugged "Sarah won't talk to me and I'm not sure about Mary." He frowned and looked at his phone, now he came to think of it, Mary had been completely silent recently. Oh well, it didn't really matter, he didn't love her, not as much as he loved the drunk man squishing his face into his arm.

"Oh. Stupid." Sherlock frowned "Women are pointless John you should stop trying."

John felt a bit hurt by that, but he brushed it off "Yeah maybe" he shuffled a bit "How about you sleep mate? You'll feel better if you sleep"

"I feel fine John I'm fine I'm perfectly fine I'm always fiiiiiiiiine" Sherlock giggled and looked up at John, pressing his chin to the man's arm to wedge himself.

The blogger looked back into the crystal blue eyes "You're not always fine Sherlock, I know that." He smiled sympathetically.

The curly haired man dropped his gaze to somewhere off in the distance and his smile disappeared "I'm fine."

"Right" John sighed "Well I need to sleep too you know, I can't stay here with you all night"

Sherlock nodded "I know.. It's ok" He lifted his chin off and sat back in the seat properly "You can go to sleep"

"In a bit mate, I'll stay with you" John smiled softly at his love, he looked quite dishevelled, not at all like his neat and pristine usual self, it was nice to see actually.

"Oh ok" The tall man let his head flop around a bit, he cheered up again "Hey I have some cigarettes and her.." He trailed off.

John frowned at him "Sherlock. There's heroine in the flat?" His heart started to beat faster as he began to worry. Why did Sherlock have heroine? He hoped he wouldn't start using, it would be awful to see the man he loved disintegrate and fall apart to some ghastly drug.

"Yeah.. I don't really know why" Sherlock looked at John and frowned at how he was reacting, but his drunk brain didn't really compute very well.

"Promise me you won't start using, Sherlock? Are you listening, ok? Don't start." John looked at him earnestly.

"I promise." Sherlock looked back, he felt guilty immediately and before he could stop himself tears had brimmed in his eyes and flowed over.

"Hey hey no don't cry" John took the man into a hug "Why're you crying?" He felt the dark curls on his cheek and smiled a little.

Sherlock spoke quickly and without thinking as he continued to cry "I let you down I don't want to let you down you're my only friend and I don't want to ruin it and I always do ruin it and I'm ruining it in other ways too and I don't want to do that but I'm me so I do and it's not fair and I just want you to stay here and live with me but that's not fair on you and I don't deserve that because I hurt you and I'm sorry for that I really am but I had to I'm sorry John." He took a deep breath afterwards, much like a child.

"Hey hey shush" John gently stroked back Sherlock's curls, not caring for how it looked, he just wanted to sooth the man "It's all ok, I promise."

The tall man sniffed and wiped his eyes on John's shoulder "I'm sorry John" he liked the feeling of John brushing his curls, it felt nice.

"It's ok" The sandy haired blogger smiled a bit before pulling Sherlock out of the hug and looking him in the eyes.

Sherlock looked back, into those warm and soft eyes and he smiled through his tears, those eyes could always do that to him, there was just something so magical about them. "John.. Can I just..?" Without waiting for permission, the detective curled up and laid down, resting his head on John's lap and closing his eyes.

John raises his eyebrows and blinked at the sight on his lap "Sherlock..?" He gently stroked back a curl from the detective's sharp face.

"Hmm?" The tall man mumbled, not opening his eyes but shifting a little to get comfier.

"Are you feeling ok?" The shorter man was relieved when Sherlock nodded his head a little, he smiled softly "You're like a kitten.."

"Hmm maybe I am a kitten" Sherlock wiggled his nose a bit "Meow" he smiled a little.

"Oh" John grinned "Well.. Kittens are nice to stroke" He carefully started stroking Sherlock's raven black curls, cautious of what the detective might do.

The curly haired man hummed contently, he loved that feeling. He pressed his head into the hand a little more.

The blogger continued to stroke the curls, looking into the fire as he did, this was rather nice. It felt good to just sit with the man you love in a cosy flat, he assumed Sherlock would just fall asleep.

The tall man was silent for quite a while before he mumbled "John.. I don't feel so well.."

"Oh, Sherlock" John frowned, his cosy mood broken "Come on, you need to sit up and I'll take you to the bathroom." He levered Sherlock up off of his lap.

The detective opened his eyes a bit, mumbling in protest at the movement. He was helped up by his flatmate and taken to the bathroom.

"Ok mate just kneel by the toilet, ok?" John knelt Sherlock in front of the toilet "I'll get you some water, just put this towel over your back to keep you warm as well" he took a towel from the rail and draped it over the other man.

Sherlock nodded a bit in response, squeezing his eyes closed to stop the room from spinning and trying to focus on not being sick.

"Ok be right back mate" John gently patted Sherlock on the back reassuringly before going to get water and a sick bucket.

The tall man could hear John in the kitchen and he smiled softly, it was good that he lived with a doctor. His smile soon disappeared however when he retched and started to throw up in the toilet.

John pulled a face of sympathy for the man as he ran some water, he shouted through "Let it all out! It'll be ok then we can get you to bed!"

The detective was still throwing up when John came back, he set the water and bucket down before kneeling next to Sherlock and rubbing his back to soothe him "Nearly done?" He knew it was near the end as Sherlock's retches had started to become dry.

He finished, and Sherlock sniffed a bit as he knelt back and leant against John "I'm sorry.."

"It's ok mate" John wiped back Sherlock's curls "We'll get you to bed and you can sleep, ok?" He took the water "Have a sip of this please first."

Sherlock took the glass and drank a little "Thank you John" he managed a small smile.

"It's alright" The sandy haired man smiled back "Right, lets get you to bed." He stood up and helped Sherlock up, supporting him by letting him put his arm over John's shoulder. He took the water and bucket and gently guided Sherlock to his room.

The tall man laid down carefully, it felt good to be in bed "Thank you.." He looked at John softly.

"No problem." John looked the detective up and down "You'll be too hot if you sleep in your suit.. Can you take some things off?"

"Can you do it?" Sherlock looked at him "You've seen most of me before.." He looked pleadingly, he was too tired and weak to do it himself.

John remembered that time in Buckingham palace, when he'd caught a glimpse of Sherlock's bottom, and much more of the man's perfect body. He shook his head a little to clear the thought before nodding "Sure." He gently removed Sherlock's jacket, and began unbuttoning his shirt buttons.

"People will talk" Sherlock smiled a bit as he watched John unbutton his shirt, it was such a sight.

"They do little else, Sherlock." The blogger smiled back as he took Sherlock's shirt off, before pulling down the man's trousers and removing them too.

"I don't mind it.." The detective yawned a little as he watched John neatly fold up his suit.

"What? People talking? I know you don't" John frowned a little then set the clothes pile aside "Ok bucket here-"

Sherlock cut him off "Stay with me." He looked at his flatmate, begging with his eyes "Please."

John raised his eyebrows before nodding "Ok.. Ok I'll stay here" He pointed at the bucket "Buckets still there though, and water there." He pointed at the water on the bedside cabinet.

"Ok" Sherlock yawned again then patted the bed beside him "Come here"

John nodded a bit then went round the bed to that side, he climbed on and sat, leaning his back on the headboard. "It's a bit hot.." He took off his jumper and dropped it on the floor.

Sherlock curled up to him "I'm a kitten again" he smiled softly as he closed his eyes and felt John's hand stroke his hair again.

"Yes, you are, Kittenlock." John smiled at his little joke as he stroked his calloused hand through the man's dark curls, they were simply divine.

"Kittens love you" Sherlock yawned again, the hand in his hair was making him even sleepier than before.

"Hmm well I like kittens, just not cats. And especially those ones without fur that were climbing on me." John shrugged a bit as he remembered the Great Game case.

"Hmm I'm a kitten.. And I love you.." Sherlock nuzzled his nose against John's leg affectionately.

The sandy haired man blinked several times before replying "Sherlock.. Was that the drink talking?" He really hoped it wasn't, but he knew it probably was.

"No. No I mean it." The tall man lifted his head and opened his eyes to look at John directly "I love you."

The sandy haired man looked back before a small smile crept onto his face, Sherlock was serious. He could tell. His mind started to whir with different ideas as he replied "I love you too."

The detective smiled softly and whispered "I knew." He rested his head back down and snuggled back up, falling asleep instantly.

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**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So here's the second oneshot I wrote for Femke, I hope you enjoy it! (sorry it's shorter than last time!)**

**Vague description: Drunk!lock, cooking**

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John giggled as he finished his 7th beer "You know.. Sherlock.." He frowned as the end of the sentence escaped him.

The detective looked back with hazy eyes, he was near finishing his 6th beer "Whaaat Jawn?"

"You're.. You are" The blogger put his bottle with the collection of others "You're a prick." He smiled proudly as he slurred the end of his sentence.

The dark haired man pouted like a child "Words hurt Johnny John" He pointed at his flatmate with the beer bottle.

"No shhhhhhh Sherly" John giggled as he pointed back with his shaking finger "I mean.. You're a _nice_ prick."

The taller man finished his beer as he thought for a while about that, then grinned "Oh thank you Johnny-Boo"

"No problem" The sandy haired ex army doctor sat back in his chair "I'm hungry." He patted his stomach with his hands, like a drum.

"I can cook." Sherlock stumbled up to his feet "I am.. Who's that man on the.. VT?" He frowned and looked at the TV.

"Hmmm" John stuck his tongue out and thought for a second "Delia Smith!" He exclaimed as he remained the famous chef.

"Yes!" Sherlock agreed instantly, not questioning "That is me!" He left his bottle on the table and went into the kitchen "What do you want?"

"Are you kidding?" John followed into the kitchen "You don't.. _cook_." He snorted "Unless it's one of those stupid expleriments.."

The detective laid a finger on John's lips "No shhhhh I can cook" he nodded "What d'you want to eat?"

John moved the finger "Hmm pasta and sauce" He giggled "Oh do spaghettiiiii then we can share it like Lady and The Tramp!"

Sherlock frowned, even when he was sober he had no idea what 'Lady and the Tramp' was "Wha?" He went to the cupboard.

"Oh never mind" John watched "Yeah spaghetti is theeeere" he went to the kettle and started boiling some water.

The tall man dropped some things from the cupboard before getting the spaghetti and clumsily tipping some into a pan, waiting for the water. "Seeeee I can cook"

The blogger rolled his eyes "Oki Delia" he giggled "You know.. I think Delia is a woman.."

The thin man smirked "Well, I have the hair." He flicked his curly hair back in a sassy fashion.

"Oh yesss" John smiled and came over, he reached up and ran his hand through the detective's hair "You have bloody great hair Sherlock."

The detective pouted a bit "Mummy tells me to cut it" he glanced at the kettle as it finished boiling.

"Nooo it's fine" John ruffled the curls "Keep it." He went back to the kettle, and poured the boiling water onto the spaghetti to start it cooking as he lit the hob.

"Hey! I'm cooking" Sherlock nudged John "Where's the sauce?" He chuckled to himself.

"Cupboard" The short man put the kettle back and watched as his friend retrieved the jar of sauce.

"Now whaaaat?" Sherlock slurred as he cradled the jar like a baby.

"Heat it up in another pan" John noisily took another metal pan and handed it to the man "Light the... Job.. I mean hob."

"Ok ok" Sherlock did as he was told and began heating the sauce, he watched with narrowed eyes as the substance did nothing at first.

"Stir it" John took a wooden spoon, he tapped Sherlock on the head from behind before passing him the spoon.

"Oooooh ok" Sherlock began stirring the sauce gently with a lazy smile plastered all over his pale face.

John blinked a bit before coming up close behind Sherlock, he carefully slid his hands down onto the detective's thin waist and held him like that.

"Mmmm" Sherlock hummed contentedly, he liked that feeling upon his hips, it was a firm and safe grip, and one that should never let go.

The short man started stroking circles on the taller man's hips, before sliding his hands into Sherlock's front trouser pockets. He turned his head to the side and rested it on Sherlock's back, he closed his eyes.

The curly haired man kept stirring the sauce happily, loving the feeling of the man upon his back.

The ex army doctor murmured sleepily "Leave the cooking.. I'm too tired.." He yawned a little and nuzzled his nose into the other man's back.

"Oh hmm" The tall man turned off all the hob and discarded the cooking, he gently took John's hands out from his pockets, and turned around in the man's arms.

John now slipped his hands into Sherlock's back trouser pockets, resting on his perfect arse.

"John.." Sherlock cautiously talked, he didn't want to disturb the man's sleepiness.

"Wha?" John looked up at the man a bit, his chin resting on his chest and his eyes big and tired.

The taller man smiled softly before pressing a kiss to John's forehead.

The shorter man blinked a bit, but then soon smiled at the sensation and hummed contentedly, he closed his eyes.

Sherlock took this as a sign that it was ok, so he kissed down in a line from John's forehead, all the way down his nose and Cupid's bow.

The short man gasped slightly as he felt Sherlock's lips grazing the edge of his upper lip, he whispered quietly "Lips.."

The detective slid his hand up to cup John's neck as he closed he eyes, before cautiously kissing him softly and slowly.

The blogger moaned ever so quietly before kissing back, his tongue carefully prodding at Sherlock's lips for entrance, which was soon granted.

Sherlock pulled away for a moment to breath, they both opened their eyes and looked at each other sleepily "Bed?"

"Bed." John smiled, pecked a kiss to Sherlock's lips, and took his hand to take them both to bed.

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**Hope that satisfied your fluff needs!**


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